Trust your Gut. Always. And…Love.
Let’s break with tradition and start with the famous person quote first. It will help with the rest of the story since there is quite a prelude to this one. Trust me, there is a very good reason I putting this here for all you cellist’s and musicians out there. Hang in here with me…
“Never let anyone tell you that your way of loving God is wrong like all the instruments of the orchestra….” Desmond Tutu
Now, meet Bucc-ee, the lovable beaver in the picture attached to this post (pronounced buck•ee). You have to understand what buccee is to appreciate how wonderful this experience was. Buccee here is the cup of my 4 year old that is his nightly water cup. We fill it at bedtime so that he has his water right there with him and doesn’t have to get out of bed every 5 minutes for water as we are going to sleep. It lives on the headboard of our bed and he can reach up there any time he wants even the middle of the night sometimes to get water. Its a special part of our routine and a special cup because its also from Alabama, a little piece of that home land.
So yesterday I was filling good, uplifted, feeling good about my ability to trust my gut and at the same time missing my son. He is away staying with babushka. So I decided it would be neat to go to Wally’s and get him a similar cup. For those not in the know, Wally’s is a big huge gas station like Bucc•ee’s, its the version we have here in St. Louis since there is no Buccee’s near us, and there are not many since they are so big so they are usually way out of the way from civilization. I was going to get him a new night time water cup to have at babushka’s house since its such a special part of bed time. It just all of a sudden felt like the thing to do. Our other son was at an activity, I didn’t have any lessons or appointments last night so why not? It was going to be quite a drive out of the way but it just felt right (there is the trust your gut part). So to Wally’s I went, excited to find a cup that I could mail to him. Feeling full of bluster and confidence.
Of course when I got to Wally’s and started looking around no such equivalent existed. They had cups but they weren’t the same, the figure of the mascot in a cute cup form with a straw. I was looking and looking to find something that matched and was about to give up and leave when I saw something I wasn’t expecting, something I needed to give to a friend. It was something that I thought of sending years ago and always found a reason not to. But you see, the two of us lost someone very close to us and we are coming up on the 20th anniversary of that loss, of missing someone very important. As soon as I saw the thing in the store, I knew it was a sign that it was time to just get it and send it. It wasn’t what I intended to get, it wasn’t even remotely the thing I was at the store for, but my gut had led me there, love lead me there. And ultimately, something more powerful than I can comprehend in clear words lead me there. It was wonderful, and amazing, and terrifying and humbling all at the same time.
Why am I telling you all this?
Well… it was awesome And…
When we are sitting in practice, trying to get better, practicing cello, practicing yoga, practicing _______ (insert your discipline of priority), it doesn’t matter. We have to at some point, after spending some time wrestling with it, trust our gut. We have to just love it, get into it and be done with what it looks like to others. If we are loving something the best way we know how, taking care of business the most proper way, loving the experience and the discipline in all its facets then we are probably headed in the right direction. We don’t always know exactly what it’s going to look like on the other side, but if we are loving it while we are doing it, we are probably doing something right, and we have to learn to trust that and trust ourselves so we can get to that point where love is propelling us forward. We are contributing to something grand and our love, whatever that looks like in a given moment, is of grand importance. I think this is why Bishop Tutu makes his amazing statement to us.
“Never let anyone tell you that your way of loving God is wrong like all the instruments of the orchestra with all their many sounds they are contributing to the whole, to the music and making one glorious thing.”
So glad I trusted my gut last night and decided to love on my son they way he deserves. Yes yes, I still need to get him that cup. It was going to be a surprise so he is not missing anything and in fact he gets something better. He gets to grow up in a world where a few more people know how it important love is, how important loving something/someone in your own way is. This idea, it isn’t something on a greeting card or the Hollywood screen. This isn’t some nice pithy idea that you frost on top when you have time or the inkling. Love get’s stuff done, important stuff that just needs doing, and you better make sure you use it. Love it the way you know you are supposed to. It will get you where you are trying to get to and maybe even lead you somewhere awesome.
Clay
